I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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