Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I think I just sharted jello shots
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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