Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
