Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
