YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
