watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
