dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
