i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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