If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think I died a long time ago.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
