i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
