There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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