And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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