Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
