the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
