I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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