BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Success! We fucked roommates!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
