Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
