That's intense
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
