Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
