what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
