And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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