Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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