I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
