sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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