Slut skills are useful in every country.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
