Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
what day is it and did you see me today?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
