I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i will never coherently bang her
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
