I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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