god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
