just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
