dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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