Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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