i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
