If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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