I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
