1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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