thus making me awesome and them whores
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
