69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
