I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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