Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just high enough for therapy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
