i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
