My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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