didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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