took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
