I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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