fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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