Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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