Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
