Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
