I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
