I cockslap morals
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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